Quiet Witness #2
Quiet Witness is a collection of memories I acquired while surviving my childhood.
Featured in Piece #2 (14”x17” oval) are 7 memory clusters:
Two sticks - Growing up sticks meant pain because they were weapons for punishment. Here is my attempt to personify them into two lovers. The core concept of romantic love is an idea I held on to deeply. I had ingested the programming that only someone outside of me would be able to rescue me one day.
Fried Egg - My father’s favorite food to cook was eggs with tons of oil. The kitchen would always be covered in fumes, but I new it meant his mood was somewhat stable. For now. If I smelled eggs in the morning, I could count on eating with while smiling with him. I didn’t know that this is intermittent reinforcement.
Olives- One for each of my siblings when I was 15. I was a child taking care of children. This was the first time I remember going down the spiral of toiling with how my worth was interconnected with my responsibility of taking care of others. I believe 15 is the first time I contemplated suicide.
Fish- I am a sardine carrying the weight of my siblings. You will notice the blues do not glow like the fish in Quiet Witness #3. This is to reflect the low level of life left: alive, but not thriving. Because of the weight of the olives, the fish now carries a bent shape. My identity contorted into this one task. I would go to school and come straight home. This was all I did.
Tetherball- When my parents moved us to South Carolina, I experienced for the first time how how segregation was still present in the public school system. We didn’t have a playground, but there was tetherball. I remember the one time I actually won. I was so happy that for the first time I didn’t notice the worn out leather on the bus ride home. The fish being spiked on the pole is for intentional connection. School was my only escape from home.
Ladybug- Ladybugs demand present attention. Every time I see one, I am asked to focus on what is in front of me regardless of what I am doing. They were a symbol for what could not be taken from me: the ability to pivot no matter the chaos. A yellow ladybug landed on this canvas asking me to include it so I did.
Corndog- We weren’t allowed to use the stovetop or oven because my father would yell at us for wasting energy and driving the utility bill up. I stopped cooking. One of the favorite foods we liked to buy was corndogs. They were great because all we needed was the microwave. I could warm them up for all 7 of my siblings and rush dinner before he got home.
Box- Good memories felt fleeting. I would keep receipts, photos and souvenirs to help me remember them. Because of this, I became obsessed with boxes. I would collect ones in different sizes and colors. The boxes protected those good memories when the bad ones would come back.
Quiet Witness is a collection of memories I acquired while surviving my childhood.
Featured in Piece #2 (14”x17” oval) are 7 memory clusters:
Two sticks - Growing up sticks meant pain because they were weapons for punishment. Here is my attempt to personify them into two lovers. The core concept of romantic love is an idea I held on to deeply. I had ingested the programming that only someone outside of me would be able to rescue me one day.
Fried Egg - My father’s favorite food to cook was eggs with tons of oil. The kitchen would always be covered in fumes, but I new it meant his mood was somewhat stable. For now. If I smelled eggs in the morning, I could count on eating with while smiling with him. I didn’t know that this is intermittent reinforcement.
Olives- One for each of my siblings when I was 15. I was a child taking care of children. This was the first time I remember going down the spiral of toiling with how my worth was interconnected with my responsibility of taking care of others. I believe 15 is the first time I contemplated suicide.
Fish- I am a sardine carrying the weight of my siblings. You will notice the blues do not glow like the fish in Quiet Witness #3. This is to reflect the low level of life left: alive, but not thriving. Because of the weight of the olives, the fish now carries a bent shape. My identity contorted into this one task. I would go to school and come straight home. This was all I did.
Tetherball- When my parents moved us to South Carolina, I experienced for the first time how how segregation was still present in the public school system. We didn’t have a playground, but there was tetherball. I remember the one time I actually won. I was so happy that for the first time I didn’t notice the worn out leather on the bus ride home. The fish being spiked on the pole is for intentional connection. School was my only escape from home.
Ladybug- Ladybugs demand present attention. Every time I see one, I am asked to focus on what is in front of me regardless of what I am doing. They were a symbol for what could not be taken from me: the ability to pivot no matter the chaos. A yellow ladybug landed on this canvas asking me to include it so I did.
Corndog- We weren’t allowed to use the stovetop or oven because my father would yell at us for wasting energy and driving the utility bill up. I stopped cooking. One of the favorite foods we liked to buy was corndogs. They were great because all we needed was the microwave. I could warm them up for all 7 of my siblings and rush dinner before he got home.
Box- Good memories felt fleeting. I would keep receipts, photos and souvenirs to help me remember them. Because of this, I became obsessed with boxes. I would collect ones in different sizes and colors. The boxes protected those good memories when the bad ones would come back.
Quiet Witness is a collection of memories I acquired while surviving my childhood.
Featured in Piece #2 (14”x17” oval) are 7 memory clusters:
Two sticks - Growing up sticks meant pain because they were weapons for punishment. Here is my attempt to personify them into two lovers. The core concept of romantic love is an idea I held on to deeply. I had ingested the programming that only someone outside of me would be able to rescue me one day.
Fried Egg - My father’s favorite food to cook was eggs with tons of oil. The kitchen would always be covered in fumes, but I new it meant his mood was somewhat stable. For now. If I smelled eggs in the morning, I could count on eating with while smiling with him. I didn’t know that this is intermittent reinforcement.
Olives- One for each of my siblings when I was 15. I was a child taking care of children. This was the first time I remember going down the spiral of toiling with how my worth was interconnected with my responsibility of taking care of others. I believe 15 is the first time I contemplated suicide.
Fish- I am a sardine carrying the weight of my siblings. You will notice the blues do not glow like the fish in Quiet Witness #3. This is to reflect the low level of life left: alive, but not thriving. Because of the weight of the olives, the fish now carries a bent shape. My identity contorted into this one task. I would go to school and come straight home. This was all I did.
Tetherball- When my parents moved us to South Carolina, I experienced for the first time how how segregation was still present in the public school system. We didn’t have a playground, but there was tetherball. I remember the one time I actually won. I was so happy that for the first time I didn’t notice the worn out leather on the bus ride home. The fish being spiked on the pole is for intentional connection. School was my only escape from home.
Ladybug- Ladybugs demand present attention. Every time I see one, I am asked to focus on what is in front of me regardless of what I am doing. They were a symbol for what could not be taken from me: the ability to pivot no matter the chaos. A yellow ladybug landed on this canvas asking me to include it so I did.
Corndog- We weren’t allowed to use the stovetop or oven because my father would yell at us for wasting energy and driving the utility bill up. I stopped cooking. One of the favorite foods we liked to buy was corndogs. They were great because all we needed was the microwave. I could warm them up for all 7 of my siblings and rush dinner before he got home.
Box- Good memories felt fleeting. I would keep receipts, photos and souvenirs to help me remember them. Because of this, I became obsessed with boxes. I would collect ones in different sizes and colors. The boxes protected those good memories when the bad ones would come back.